I'm so desperate for a girlfriend

I'm so desperate for a girlfriend

Have you heard the following statements before, "I'm so desperate for a girlfriend!  I'm so desperate for a boyfriend?"  I'm sure you have!  What about you, are you desperate for a girlfriend/boyfriend?

If you look around you, you tend to see many males and females desperate to get into a relationship.  Some of this desperation is a result of lack self esteem, lack of love, peer pressure, and lack of interest in life.  Many individuals think they will never be able to attract someone they can love and be loved in return, so they feel hopeless in life.

I'm so desperate for a girlfriend/boyfriend

To deal with this kind of desperation, first we need to analyze the root cause of why so many girls are so desperate for a boyfriend and so many guys are desperate for a girlfriend.

1.  Lack of self esteem

People, who have low self esteem, feel negative about their life, career, relationships, or any other area of life, so they become desperate for a romantic relationship so they can feel better about themselves and compensate for what they lack in one or more of the areas in life.

If you fall in this category, then you need to start developing your self esteem.  Being in a relationship will not build your self esteem, however, overcoming your limiting beliefs about yourself, learning optimism, and learning new skills will.

Let me ask you something, let's say you get in a relationship now while you have low self esteem and you become happy in the moment, then suddenly, your partner breaks up with you and leaves you all alone.  What will happen then?  If you have low self esteem, then it will hit bottom low, but if you have high self esteem, you will move on in a short period and realize this was only an experience.

2.  Peer pressure

Peer pressure is another root cause for why some girls become so desperate for a boyfriend and some guys desperate for a girlfriend.

For example, if a girl is single, but has a group of girlfriends who all have boyfriends, they might start pressuring the single girl into getting in a relationship.  They might say something like "Why don't you have a boyfriend?  Can't you get a guy?  Are you a loser?"  If the single girl has low self esteem, then such questions might have a huge negative effect on her and she might become so desperate to get a boyfriend.

If you have some friends who are pressuring you to get into a relationship then, you might want to consider spending less time with them and work on getting new friends who support you.  True friends are the ones who support you, not pressure you into getting in a relationship when you are not ready for it.

3.  Depending on someone for your happiness

Some people are so desperate to find someone to love, so they can feel happy.  What they fail to realize is that happiness is an internal state, not external.

I explained in my book "How to win your lover's heart" that your boyfriend or girlfriend are not responsible for your happiness, you are.  As long as you stay depending on your partner for your happiness, you will never become truly happy.  Yes for sure their love can and will enhance your life, but true source of happiness is internal which means you are responsible for it.

Begin to love and show compassion to yourself instead of being so desperate to find a partner.  When you begin to treat yourself in a compassionate and loving way, others will see that about you and then when someone shows up in your life, your relationship together will be much happier.

Now, that you know the main causes for someone who is desperate for a girlfriend or a boyfriend, you need to start taking some steps to stop being desperate.  If your self esteem is low, then work on improving your self esteem before you get into a relationship.  If you are looking for someone to make you happy, then start by making yourself happy first.  Remember, all the answers that you seek are within you internally, not externally.

About the Author

http://www.2achieveyourgoals.com

Do you know that only 3% of the world's population manage to plan and reach their goals? The main goal for 2achieveyourgoals.com is to help you become from the top 3% of the world's population who know how to achieve any goal they desire in all areas of life. If you have a specific goal that you want to accomplish or want to improve an area of your life, but do not know how or why you are not getting any result, then this is the place for you.

How to deal with relationship problems?

How to deal with relationship problems

Do you have a hard time dealing with relationship problems?  How to deal with relationship issues and problems in daily life?

We all deal with relationship issues in our daily lives from trivial problems to more moderate problems.  If you don't learn how to deal with relationship problems skillfully, then you might not be handling the issues that arise in your relationship in a positive matter which could affect and hinder the growth of your relationship with your partner.

As mentioned in my book "How to win your lover's heart" nurturing a relationship daily is very important if you want to win your lover's heart and have continuous happy relationship together.  Therefore, you have to learn the various ways to deal with relationship problems when they arise, so they won't affect you negatively.

Dealing with relationship problems

If your goal is to learn how to deal with relationship problems, then follow the quick guide below:

1.  Put the problem behind you

As soon as you encounter a relationship issue and problem, you need to take a few minutes to collect your thoughts and start meditating on how you would look at this problem in two weeks from now.

For example, Kelly mentions whenever she encounters a problem with her boyfriend, she takes a few minutes and starts focusing on how the relationship with her partner will be two weeks from now.  In other words, she separates herself from the problem.

She would say to herself, "In two weeks, I'm going to look back and realize that this problem is so trivial, so I'm not going to let it upset and affect me now."

She holds that thought in her mind for a few seconds, then she moves to step two.  This step is a very crucial step to help you get a grip over your negative emotions, don't skip it.

2.  Say something positive

Now, it is time to say something positive to make the issue and the problem less daunting.  Many couples say they can't say something encouraging or positive in the middle of a problem.  However, remember what you did in the first step.  You have put the problem behind you and you have meditated on the fact that this problem is not that important, so you are capable of saying something positive if you really have convinced yourself that the problem is trivial.

If at first you find it hard to say something positive in the middle of an argument, then start practicing, one step at a time.  With practice, it will become a positive habit in your life.  As you continue practicing, you will become expert at dealing with relationship problems when they surface.

3.  Look for solutions

Now that you two are calm, it is time to start looking for solutions if the problem and issue has not been solved yet.  What do couples do when they face a problem?  The majority start dwelling on the problem.  Very few percentages start looking for solutions and the ones they do, start looking for solutions while they have emotional anger inside of them.

This is why it is very important before you get to the third stage and start looking for solutions, you need to be calm and your negative emotions are not affecting you from finding a good decision.

Dealing with relationship problems becomes easy once you understand and start applying some principles like the steps mentioned above.  If you encounter severe relationship issues and problems like cheating, physical or emotional abuse, then you have to apply a different method and different steps that I will discuss in a separate article, but for the majority of problems in our daily life which are trivial to moderate issues, the above steps will do the job for you

About the Author

http://www.2achieveyourgoals.com

Do you know that only 3% of the world's population manage to plan and reach their goals? The main goal for 2achieveyourgoals.com is to help you become from the top 3% of the world's population who know how to achieve any goal they desire in all areas of life. If you have a specific goal that you want to accomplish or want to improve an area of your life, but do not know how or why you are not getting any result, then this is the place for you.