Monday, August 8, 2011

Relationships and Trust

Trust in relationships is an absolute must.

If you do not have trust then you have nothing.

Trust can be a very difficult thing to give and that is why it has to be earned. This can take time and if one or both of you have been hurt in a previous relationship then it may take even longer.

Start out by making sure you can be trusted with the little things.

Little things consist of keeping promises you make and doing what you say you will do when you say you will do it. If she asks you to pick her up somewhere be there a little beforehand. Do not make her wait, be waiting for her. She will greet you with a smile and a kiss not a sour look and attitude. Which would you rather have?

These little things all add up to her being able to trust you with bigger things, like her feelings. If she comes to you and pours her heart out to you about something sensitive. Listen and offer your shoulder for her to cry on. She may just have to get it off her chest but the most important thing for you to do here is to not go blab to your friends what she has confided to you. Take the old analogy about Vegas. What happens in this relationship, stays in this relationship.

Trust her with something sensitive about yourself.

Sharing personal information brings you closer together. Tell her something no one else knows about you. She will feel honored that you think she is special enough that you can trust her with this information. Showing your vulnerable side is endearing in relationships and helps build the trust that is so important to keeping you close with your partner.

Make good choices.

Do things that benefit both of you. Do not be selfish, this will only drive a wedge between you. Think about how she will react when you tell her what you have done. Will she approve? If not, rethink your position. Not that every decision you make from here on out needs to be based on how someone else will receive it, it is essential that you do take her feelings into consideration.

Another good way to build trust in a relationship is to use touch.

Touch is very important, and I do not mean just in a sexual way. Hold her hand as you walk or put your arm around her when you go to the movies. Incidental touches build trust on both sides.

Own your own BS.

If you make a mistake, man up and own it, then apologize sincerely. Do not place blame, do not make excuses and do not get defensive when she calls you on it. She will see this as juvenile behavior and probably turn around and run as fast as she can in the opposite direction and you can then file this one in the failed relationships column.

Remember, to earn her trust you have to be trustworthy.

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