Whether you have met someone cute through your matchmaker site, or you have had a crush on that sales guy at work, trying to decide how to ask a guy out (or whether to ask him out at all) is not for the faint hearted. Ironically, men have many of the same fears when asking women out. The fear of rejection is something that both men and women face, but for women, the added ‘taboo' of breaking social norms can make it even more daunting.
To help you find the best way of asking a guy out, our matchmaker shares a few tips on asking him out the right way.
- Ditch the cheesy lines – this is no time for trying out a pick up line or coming up with a soppy approach that makes you both feel uncomfortable. As any woman who has been on the receiving end of lines, they do not always have the best success either. The aim of the game here is not to try and impress your way to a date, but to be honest and casual – without pressure.
- Keep it simple and casual – try to see your love interest as just another friend, who happens to be a guy. Ask him out just as you would any friend, whether you are doing it through your matchmaker site or in person, or even via sms or IM. A simple ‘hey, what are you up to on Friday night, keen for a drink?' is always your best option.
- Be prepared for rejection – there is a chance that your love interest might say no. But he may also just say no to doing something on the day that you have requested. If he flat out says no but doesn't offer any alternative or raincheck, then you need to accept that and move on swiftly. If on the other hand, he asks if you could meet another night, then that is cause for hope. Either way, having no expectations will prevent you from getting your hopes dashed.
- Don't harass him – if he has given a non-committal answer, leave it at that and wait for him to make the next move. Sending constant messages through your matchmaker site or calling him and putting him on the spot may put him off rescheduling, whereas being patient and letting him set another date will show him that you are not desperate. At the very least, wait a week to check whether he is still keen to meet up – any shorter than that will send him running.
- Keep it open-ended – the best way to approach a guy for a date is to ask him out for coffee or drinks with other friends, in a group type of environment. Make sure he knows that, and keep it open-ended so that you can regain some dignity if he assumes that you are going as friends. If you put the pressure on by planning a romantic date, he may feel caught off guard, which could put a damper on your date before it has really begun, say matchmaker experts.
Bianca Jones offers advice for singles seeking the ultimate <a href="http://www.matchvip.co.za/MatchVIP/our-guarantee.html">matchmaker</a> to ensure success for <a href="http://www.matchvip.co.za/">corporate dating</a>.
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