My Boyfriend is Unaffectionate! Hints on How to Change This

Your boyfriend is unaffectionate and it wears on you. This is an issue that many women face but it's not one that we're ready and willing to talk about with friends. It's a bit embarrassing, isn't it? Having to admit to other women that the man you're with doesn't like to kiss you very often or he refuses to hold hands or give you a hug when you need it, isn't the easiest thing for a woman to do. You may have resigned yourself to the fact that being affectionate just isn't part of his character make up. That may be true but everyone can change. If you're tired of immersing yourself in a relationship in which affection is non-existent, why not change it? You truly don't have to accept a partner who doesn't show his fondness for you. You can subtly guide him towards being more comfortable demonstrating his love.

Before you can show your boyfriend why being affectionate is so rewarding you have to identify where his reservations are coming from. Some men are a bit shy about showing their affection in public. They grew up in an environment where it was off limits to put your arm around your date and kissing within eye shot of anyone was akin to a federal offense. You can typically tell if this is behind your man's unaffectionate demeanour if his entire family subscribes to the same principle. The next time you're around his parents, his siblings or aunts or uncles, watch how much affection is flowing between them. If there's none your boyfriend's aversion to affection is just a by-product of his upbringing.

Some men shy away from public affection because they believe it's a private matter. This may have nothing to do with what they witnessed their parents doing and much more to do with them viewing affection as an intimate matter that's best kept behind closed doors. If your man is fine with showing you affection in private, you may just have to learn to accept that he views it as a personal and cherished interaction between you two.

The biggest challenge lies in dealing with a boyfriend who shows no affection in private at all. If you two are home alone and he won't hold your hand while you're watching television, you have every right to feel alienated and upset with this. If you've spoken to him in a compassionate way about how this makes you feel and how you long for things to be different, good for you. If he hasn't changed at all, you need to be deeply concerned. His refusal to move out of his comfort zone to meet you even part way is an indicator of deeper problems on the horizon of your relationship. This should be addressed as soon as possible and you need to make it very clear that a relationship that is void of affection isn't one that you can see yourself in indefinitely.

Getting a man to be more affectionate is often a case of leading the way and showing him how it's done. If he's not all that comfortable with being physical, you need to be the one to initiate it with him. That may be something as innocent as putting your arm through his as you two take a stroll outside. You do need to be mindful of his personal space and take any positive reaction from his as a good sign. If he sees that you are comfortable leading the way in this department he may feel fine with following. Take it slowly and over time he'll soon start to put his arm around you or steal a kiss when you least expect it. Affection is worth the effort and the wait if it's truly important to you.

About the Author

Every woman has the power to make her man fall in love with her. You can have a deep, undying emotional connection with him.

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