Why Most Dating Guides Fail at Teaching How to Improve Confidence With Women

Most dating guides have you focusing on "how to seduce" or "how to attract" women. While this is definitely something that should be on your goals, it's not really effective because it makes you seek the woman's approval. 

Seeking a girl's approval sets you up as having less value than she does. She will subconsciously know that you see her that way - it just comes across naturally, in everything you do. Women are especially tuned in to emotions and subtleties, so they'll know when you're trying to get into their pants. 

If instead you focus on screening women - seeing if THEY match up to YOUR expectations, then everything changes. Then she has to chase you, and you become the challenge for her. This is totally different than what any dating guide will teach you, and why you see ugly or unpopular people sometimes having very good success with women. 

Women are attracted to a man's confidence and charisma, and men who set themselves up as having the highest value realize that women need to meet their standards. Not the other way around. 

That's not to say it isn't wise to learn conversation tactics with women. You should have some basic things in mind when you go up to talk to a girl. For example, asking her a simple question, like asking for directions, is often a good way to get started talking together. 

When you work on making yourself an attractive man, and getting away from having expectations with women, you'll automatically start having this kind of success when you talk to women. 

Of course you need to be prepared for rejection. It happens. Not every girl you meet is going to want to talk to you. But every rejection is really a success, not a failure, because it means you worked up the nerve to talk to her. 

And that is more than most guys will ever do.

So don't focus so much on trying to attract or seduce women, and don't make the focus of every conversation to get her to come home with you. That can be a nice goal, but when it preoccupies you, you'll start to seem phony or strange to her. 

Just focus on keeping the conversation light, neutral, and projecting an air of relaxation and confidence. You need to have a relaxed and confident mindset before going into a conversation or approach with a woman. So practicing that is a very important part of becoming successful with women.  

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