He Loves Me, He loves Me Not - Hot and Cold Men

When involved with one of these hot and cold men, the highs are high, the lows are low.  A common line a woman with one of these men when she is low is something along the lines of "but he was so sweet to me last _______.  You fill in the blank.  Maybe there is an awesome weekend where you felt so connected, then he disappears for days, maybe even weeks go by before you see him again.

One common denominator with these he loves me, he loves me not, hot and cold men is the sex is always great.  Lots of passion, lots of heat.  The thing is during sex, women get bombarded with chemicals, the main one being oxytocin, which causes us to feel bonded and conected.  It really has nothing to do with him.  Men feel this more prior to sex and it wanes after sex.  Result, you feel connected, he really doesn't. That being said, sex is nothing to measure if this man loves you or not.  It has nothing at all to do with it.  So if the statement "The sex is great", is something you find yourself saying, it means nothing with the hot and cold man as a rule.

Another experience with these hot and cold men is that you often feel ignored.  You may be out and it seems his attention is on everyone but you.  You sometimes don't even feel like you are a couple.  When it's time to go home though, he gets hot again.  When he heats back up you feel validated again and you stay with him, over and over to experience this high you feel when he is on again.

It'a a roller coaster ride to say the least.  He is here one day, he disappears the next.  Maybe he comes and goes in and out of your life.  You keep hoping one day he will stay for good, but you are still plucking those petals off of the daisy.  He loves me, he loves me not.  All I can tell you is this.  A man that truly loves you will not blow hot and cold.  He may have bad days, but he doesn't make you wonder where you stand.  There are two basic reasons for a man that behaves this way.  He is not into you or he is not ready for a healthy. loving adult relationship.

About the Author
I am a female that has conducted extensive research on male/female dynamics. I have life experience and currently coach men and women on creating and improving relationships.