What Men Want No 62: A Woman Who Is Happy With Herself

What men want is a woman who has learned to accept her own faults. Gottman, a respected researcher in the field of relationship research, explains that 85% of marriage problems start with someone who is unhappy with themselves. The problems they see in someone else arise as a result of insecurities and doubts they find in their own lives. If you've been unhappy with your man for a while, maybe it's because you've established a habit of always seeing the glass as half empty. Here are three seemingly innocent things you might have criticised your man about that could be weakening your bonds and causing him to consider divorcing you.

1. Criticising his lack of money

Us men relish the role of being the breadwinner in the household. As much as it is a burden to us, it's a burden that we wouldn't share with anyone else. Having said that, if you do go and let us, as well as other people know that we can't provide for you monetarily, this will make us resent you.

This may stem from a belief that you are also poor. Perhaps you lived in a poor environment and were taught to be meagre and to not spend a lot. Regardless, this is a fault that some women have with themselves that they tend to reflect onto their husbands.

2. Criticising his laziness

Has your man turned into a slob after getting married to you? Maybe you should have a look at yourself. I'm not trying to make matter worse, but have you ever seen an extremely fit woman who runs marathons happily married to a man who simply watches her run marathons on TV at home?

If you're criticising your man for being lazy, there's a good chance that he's grown complacent because he's thought that that's OK with you.

3. Criticising him for not spending time with the kids

This one is another common one. Due to busy schedules, a lot of parents don't get to spend time with their children. Their children grow up, distant from their parents and don't have role models to follow.

If the mother is busy, she is likely to ask the father to spend time with them. That's a fact. It's useful to be aware that it stems from yourself though, so instead of criticising, you can organise yourself to make the time for both of you to spend time with the kids together.

Is there anything that you're unhappy about with your husband that you're also unhappy with yourself about?

About the Author

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