What Men Want In A Woman No 43: A Carpenter

What men want in a woman is a carpenter, i.e. someone who is constructive. This is an important task that the wife is meant to take control of. The wife is in a critical position where she's close enough to the man to actually deal some damage to his ego. Obviously, she doesn't want to be contemptuous and purposely hurt his ego. That will drive her away from him. She does have to deal "damage" sometimes, but in strategic ways. Below, I will outline when you should support your man and be constructive and when you should have a go at his ego to be constructive instead.

1. He's genuinely sorry: constructive

There was this one time that I was taking an ex of mine on a date. It was her birthday. I was parking in a space that was quite narrow and accidentally scraped a car. I felt pretty bad, essentially ruining her day.

If she were to have a go at me and put down my parking skills, there could not have been much that we could have gained from that in terms of building up our relationship. She instead softened up and simply said, "don't worry, that's OK."

2. He's cocky: "hurt" him

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't cocky at certain times. This bad side of me particularly comes out when I'm playing sport. I'm known to get agro on the court or the field, depending on what sport I'm playing.

She sits from the sidelines and watches me play sometimes. When there's a time out, she isn't afraid to come up to me and physically give me a slap on the shoulder and say, "stop being an idiot. You're looking like a tool out there." That humbles me and makes me focus on the game instead of me.

3. He's arguing with you: either/or

This is a particularly sticky situation that I wouldn't feel comfortable giving one answer for. There have been times when my wife has bagged me when we got into an argument about something that mattered to me where I've come close to walking out the door.

In other times, she hasn't attacked me and instead got more and more upset through the course of the argument. If she'd simply maintained her composure and told me to harden up, that would have actually diffused things. Just get to know your man and you'll learn what to do.

What men want in a woman is a carpenter in the relationship, i.e. someone who is constructive and will build them up, not tear them down. This involves knowing when to attack and when to support the man. If you do it right, he will respect you and cherish you for making him a stronger person.

About the Author

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