Matchmaker tips – the Ex Factor

There are few things more traumatic than going through a break-up, regardless of who initiated the break – matchmaker services offer one way for newly single people to find love again once they are over the hurt, but for others, the allure of the Ex Factor may be too strong to consider moving on. What do you do when your former love gives you another chance to try and make things work, and is it better to move on with a potential matchmaker interest or to try and see if things really can have a happy ending?

The following questions need to be addressed before you make any hasty decisions ruled by your heart rather than your head:

• Who initiated the break-up? – if you were the one who decided that things were not working, you need to ask yourself honestly what reasons you had for ending things in the first place. Were you happy in the relationship, or were you already seeking out potential replacements at your favourite matchmaker site? If you had good reason to end things, then those reasons will not go away unless drastic changes are made on both sides. If you were the one who was dumped, then ask yourself if you are willing to put your trust in someone who has hurt you. If there was any cheating, abuse or other bad behaviour involved, then you will need to take a serious look at whether you believe that your ex has changed enough to take your relationship seriously this time around.

 

• Can you learn to live with the bad things as well as the good? Let's face it, no one is perfect. There may be some things that you hated about your former partner, and these may be small things or bigger things. Will you be able to take your ex back despite his or her faults? And can you learn to accept them as they are, rather than resenting them or wanting them to change? If you are not willing to accept their faults, then a new love interest through your matchmaker service may give you a chance to start from scratch and meet people who share your beliefs, values and goals. After all, getting back together with an ex even if you are not truly happy or even if you don't share similar outlooks will only lead to more drama.

 

• Can you learn how to trust again? If you were dumped, then chances are high that there is still a lot of hurt and doubt. It can be very difficult to learn how to trust someone after a breakup, especially the person who caused it in the first place. Examine your feelings, and decide whether you are willing to open your heart again. It's natural to have some level of doubt, but only you will know if you will be able to forgive and forget.

 

• Were there any serious issues in the relationship? If you have been abused, cheated on or treated without respect, then you will need to take an even closer look at why you would consider resuming this relationship. A partner who hurts you and treats you badly has their own issues to deal with, and much as you wish that you could change them, this is not possible. With so many attractive, available, kind-hearted people out there, you may find that the great love of your life is waiting for you at your matchmaker site – taking your ex back despite serious problems will be something that you may regret forever.

About the Author

Bianca Jones offers advice for singles seeking the ultimate <a href="http://www.matchvip.co.za/MatchVIP/our-guarantee.html">matchmaker</a> to ensure success for <a href="http://www.matchvip.co.za/">corporate dating</a>.